FAQ
Heard from the back row
What people ask in the dark, after the lights go down. Answered in the voice you are hearing now.
- What is this, exactly?
- One state. One address. Eight dollars. A registered agent for people who wanted the poster more than the picture.
- What does eight dollars actually buy?
- A name on a state form. An address that exists. A chair that has never been sat in. Everything else is implied by the drums.
- Is anybody actually at the office?
- Somebody was cast. Nobody has shown up to the set. The chair is lit. The chair is empty. This has been the case since the first day of production.
- What happens to my mail when it gets there?
- It arrives. It waits. In a later scene, somebody may forward it. That scene has not been shot.
- What happens when the process server arrives?
- The server knocks. The chair does not answer. The state has a rule for a company with nobody home, and the rule is on the Wyoming page, without a score.
- Why only this state?
- Every great story is set somewhere. Ours is set in Wyoming because one state was the whole budget, and the budget was eight dollars, and we spent it on the address.
- Who else is in this?
- The full cast: Bucking Horse Agents at $0, IDGAF Registered Agents at $1, Sagebrush Registered Agent at $2, YOLO Registered Agent at $2.50, World Registered Agents at $3, Tree Fiddy Registered Agents at $3.50, Tumbleweed Registered Agent at $4, YOLO Registered Agents at $5, Wind River Agents at $6, Dogwater Registered Agent at $7, Sagebrush Agents at $9, Bighorn Agents at $10, Big Sky Registered Agent at $11, Mid Wyoming Agent at $12, Ranch Hand Agents at $14, Prairie Registered Agent at $16, Dogwater Registered Agents at $17, 19 Registered Agent at $19, 19 Registered Agents at $19, High Sky Registered Agent at $21, Mid Wyoming Agents at $22, Tumbleweed Agents at $23, IDGAF Agents at $24, Sky High Registered Agents at $26, Mid Registered Agent at $27, Bison Registered Agent at $28, Sky High Registered Agent at $29, Registered Agents of WY at $30, Devils Tower Registered Agent at $31, Devils Tower Registered Agents at $32, High Sky Registered Agents at $33, Registered Agent of WY at $34, Big Sky Agent at $36, Mid Registered Agents at $37, Antelope Agents at $38, Big Sky Registered Agent Co. at $40, Ranch Registered Agent at $41, World Registered Agent at $42, Howdy Registered Agent at $43, Epic Registered Agent at $44 and X Registered Agents at $49. Every one of them sells the same nothing. Ours is eight dollars and has a trailer. Theirs have prices.
- Why is it called Epic?
- Because the price is small and the claims are not. Eight dollars needed a bigger word in front of it. This was the biggest one still available.
- Can I book an appointment?
- You can. It will be scheduled. It will be announced. It will not be attended. A release date is not a promise.
- What is the biggest refund in this picture?
- The fees from the three months before the trouble, which is $2. A small sum. A big moment. We would hand it over in slow motion.
- Can you drop me without warning?
- At any time, for any reason or none, without notice and without refund. One cut. No warning. The screen goes black.
- Is eight dollars a good price?
- It is the price of a ticket. The show is the same nothing every other outfit sells. Ours has a trailer. That is the whole difference, and it is not small.
- Where do I sign up?
- The premiere page. The red carpet is out. The seats are empty. There is no box office. You will understand when you get there.